To be honest, my first Ramadhan wasn't really a good one. Ramadhan pertama tanpa dia memang perit, but life goes on. I know. Everyone's hurt. Everyone's putting on a brave front. But when mum started to crumble, everyone else just follow suit. Siapa sangka, Ramadhan tahun lepas was Ramadhan terakhir untuk ayah eh? :'(
This morning when we had our sahur, we had to wake up early to help mum out. For the past years, we don't usually help to prepare for sahur. Ayah didn't allow us to 'cause he wants us to get enough rest. He'll wake us up when the table's ready. And of course afterwards, it's our turn to clean up. Fair enough?(:
Masa sahur, kita memang liat nak bangun. And ayah setia kejut walau terpaksa ulang alik to our rooms to wake all of us up. He never raised his voice, really. Walaupun tiap-tiap kali dia kejut, I will go like, "ahhhh jap give me five minutes, just five more" and then I will selubung dalam selimut balik or I will go like "ye ye adik bangun ni" and then I'll doze off in a bit. Hehe. Don't lie to me la, I'm sure you're in the same boat if you stayed up sampai pukul dua tiga pagi untuk clear assignments. Pukul empat setengah pagi mata sure tak boleh bukak punya please. I'm really amazed at his level of tolerance because if it's ibu yang kejut, she will really scream right in your ear telling you to wake up now or she will simbah air. Or sometimes when my abang wakes me up, he'll go "MAAA RABBUKA?!" And that - is even worse.
As I'm typing this I'm starting to get teary eyed already but, oh well, I was taught to let it go. Jangan simpan, nanti makan dalam. True much eh. Honestly speaking, I feel better when I blog about it. What I think, what I feel. It makes me feel better, lighter, somehow. Nonetheless I've to admit that while blogger is my second best 'ranting place'; my first will always be Him for He is the best listener. I had a good time dating Him last night. Hamdan lillah.
Ps: Innama ashku bathi wa huzni ilallah (: