More often than not we say things without thinking it may hurt others. We're so caught up in expressing ourselves, defending ourselves that we don't give a hoot about others. We're just being so selfish. We want things to be 'right' for us that we simply can't be bothered even if things turn out 'wrong' for others.
Oh for goodness sake!
Stop pushing the blame on other people.
Stop pointing out other people's mistakes.
Stop defending yourself.
Stop giving excuses.
Stop it. Just stop it will you?
To be honest, I can forgive you but as the saying goes, one can forgive but one can hardly forget. Ruined friendships can be mended but things will never be the same. People change, and so do you. Maybe I did too. Wallahua'lam. Something went wrong somewhere and then I realised I don't even know who in the world are you anymore.
Talking things out won't matter because I've had enough. I won't waste another minute just to let you feed me with excuses, one after another. This is uber childish and looking at our age right now, it's truly embarrassing to have such conflicts.
I've let my thought drown here (though I tapis a lot already because I don't want to make things worst) and I'd like to end things here as well.
Dear you, thanks for the wonderful memories we had and thanks for all the nice things you did (well kalau Nir tak cakap ada yang mengungkit tak kenang jasa baik yada yada yada). But I guess two years tak cukup for you to kenal me and for me to kenal you. I ain't saying our friendship ends here (you can go on and copy paste all those dalils and hadiths here about jangan-putuskan-friendship yada yada yada cause you're so pro at it and I shan't argue more), but I'm saying let's take a step back and reflect. Things happen for a reason and looking back at what happened, I can conclude that we're not compatible enough. Perhaps, we shouldn't be too close in the first place.
So dear you, if you see me anywhere in the near future, I promise I won't avoid you as though I don't know you or as though you don't exist. But everytime I look at you, I will always be reminded of the scar you've left behind and for that I shall just smile and walk away.
You'd think I'm done? Oh no, hold on. Just a paragraph (or two) more. Disappointed after reading this? Tiba-tiba rasa kenapa-Nir-kurang-ajar-sangat-ni? Or tiba-tiba rasa ringannya-tangan-nak-tampar-Nir? Oh~ I'm equally disappointed as well. Disappointed in you. Beyond words.
I dont do this on a daily basis (ranting my heart out like nobody's business unlike that someone who posted everything on blog, one heart wrenching post after another) and I don't want to dwell on this matter anymore because it's not going to be good for me.
Nir mintak maaf dari hujung rambut sampai ke hujung kaki andai kata awak sakit hati tahap gaban baca entry ni. Sesungguhnya I'm one of those 'selfish' people yang kadang-kadang cakap sesuatu tanpa memikirkan perasaan orang lain. But this will be the last, I promise. Dont bother looking for me cause I won't come back.
Akhir kalam, may Allah bless you my dear. May Allah make things easier for you. Take care.
Ps: Second chances they don't even matter people never change