Thursday, November 24, 2011

Girls and their personal issues

Her: Stop complaining, you're perfect already!
Me: Yeah right, perfectlah sangat. Nobody's perfect!
Her: But you ARE nobody!
Me: Haa la sangat!

The conversation I had with my sister yesterday. I mean seriously, siapa lagi yang nak pujuk kau bila kau dah down gila if not for you siblings (or your best friend) kan?

Yesterday was one of those days when you get cranky and nothing goes your way and you start to whine and complain almost about anything and everything. This happens to most girls, I can assure that. That day when your tudung refuses to cooperate, that day when you feel everyone's pretty and you look like crap, that day when you think everyone's smart and you're just dumb, that day when you think everyone's better than you and you've got nothing at all to offer.

And then I saw this purple post-it note typed by my sister on my laptop and it made me smile.
There's always something to be thankful for. True that huh?

Honestly speaking, I lack in a lot of things. Every single time I compare myself to these people I look up to, I feel crappy. As though I'm not good enough. As though I don't belong in their group. As though...ahh. The list goes on and on. It's pretty much endless.

I hate the thought that I'm never good enough. Never good enough to be a daughter, never good enough to be a friend, never good enough to be a sister and never good enough to be His servant. But seriously Nir, what you're gonna do about that? Whining all day long? It's not going to help. It's not going to bring me anywhere.

All I've got to do is stop. Stop comparing. Stop thinking about all these negative things. If I think I'm not good, then I've got to do something about it. By saying 'I'm stupid' a hundred times, that won't make me smarter. I've got to work things out right?

And everything time I look at these hijabis fashionistas, it makes me feel insecure. The thought that I'm not pretty enough pulls me down. But when I think about it again, if I'm pretty I would probably be a bitch. I don't like to use vulgarities but this time I'm serious. If I'm pretty I would probably be one of those mentel gedik girls and I would probably dress to kill. I would probably attract unnecessary attentions and THAT is detrimental seriously. So it's probably a hikmah being just a girl-next-door. I can go unnoticed when I walk down the street. And among my gorgeous friends, I'm the plain jane seriously.

So instead of being jealous and what nots, shouldn't I focus on how to improve myself instead of dwelling on these things I can't change? I mean, if these people are pretty or smart, I can't possibly make them ugly or stupid right? The only thing I can do is to improve myself to be on the same par as them. And how do I do that? How now brown cow?

Ahh good question. I've been asking the same question to myself. What do I do now then? Maybe I should start with small things. I should be thankful to Him. For all the little things He gave. For being a normal person with five perfect senses. For being born into a muslim family. For being brought up in an islamic way of life. For being chosen to be in an islamic school. I'm already blessed that way, seriously. What more can I ask for?

And every single one of us have our own advantages, true? Some of us are blessed with pretty faces (I can't stop talking about this I mean who doesn't like to look at pretty things right? Lol), so it's their rezeki la kan. Alhamdulillah. And some people are blessed with nice voices so it's their rezeki right. Alhamdulillah. And I probably have a flair in writing that's why I managed to publish a book so it's my rezeki la kan? Alhamdulilah.

So mungkin what I have, you don't have. And what I don't have, you have. So I shouldn't be jealous of you. And you shouldn't be jealous of me (macam la ada orang jealouskan kau, Nir, perghh) because at the end of the day, Allah blessed us with so many things already! We just need to open our eyes bigger and see what's in store for us. Kan?

So moral of the story: Stop complaining and start saying Alhamdulillah. All praises to Allah. All praises to Allah. For every single thing that He gives us and for every single thing we wish we have but He didn't grant them. There's always always always a reason behind everything. For He knows best kan, and who in the world are we to argue? (:


  1. Salam...
    wah..bukan senang nak motivate diri sendiri but you did well. Congrats!

    Ya..kita jarang sekali bersyukur dengan apa yang dikurniakanNya buat kita, tapi kita tetap menghargai setiap apa yang kita ada..Bersyukurlah...

    Cantik di mata Allah itu lebih indah dik..:)
    uiks..jgn terlalu melayan rasa 'tidak cantik' itu kerana ia hanya membuatkan kamu rasa lemah..

  2. yeah, totally agree with you. we tend to look for things we dont have rather than appreciating what we have, and everytime i got jealous of somebody else, i remembered this quote :

    "never ever compare your life with others,
    you have no idea what their journey is all about "


  3. [Ummu Ammar] Haha it's easier said than done ar tapi. It's hard to get rid of this insecurities. And it's not just about being pretty or what. Kadang-kadang tengok orang tu baik, solehah, muka bercahaya...pun rasa jealous jugak. It makes you rasa rendah sangat.

    Diorang macam nun jauh kat atas sana, dah sampai langit dah, tapi kita masih terpacak kat bumi. Tak ada improvement. Kalau improve pun, when you improve one step, diorang improve ten steps more. It's like you can never compete with them. It's like, kita nak jadi baik tapi macam tak mungkin dapat jadi sebaik diorang. Can see what I'm trying to say tak? Haha >.<

    [Haikadove] Ahh true-true! I've heard that quote before but I can't remember kat mana lol. Love it to bits! ♥

  4. salam...nice 2 meet ur blog..reading this entry make me think a lot n muhasabahh wat i've done n stop 2 comparing with people around me...i always comparing with other people looks 'lucky' than me..
    keep writing! nice 2 meet your blog again~

  5. Oopps sorry baru perasan your comment!
    Thank you, I hope this entry made us reflect and think again. Stop comparing ourselves with others. Don't let them steal our joy, insya Allah (: