Thursday, February 14, 2013

Sometime ago when I was hospitalized

Honestly I intended to post an entry on this a year ago, my experience vacation dekat hospital but I never had the time to. Hehe. So I guess since I have some time to blog today, why not? Hehe.

Well.... this happened last year during Chinese New Year. I was hospitalized for about two weeks (and then received two months medical leave, so shiok right hehe) Ok lah the MC part is shiok but the pain is not :O

What happened was really something totally unexpected and out of the blue lah. It started with a terrible stomach cramp, diarrhea and endless vomiting on a Thursday morning. So I went to the clinic on the very same day, doctor said I was having stomach flu. It was nothing serious but yeap I got MC for Friday so lepak lah kat rumah, rest. I was desperate to get well cos on Saturday I have two gatherings to attend, one with my ex IJC classmates in the afternoon and family chalet at night.

Luckily on Saturday the pain subsided so yay I went to meet my friends at Sakunthalas for lunch. Then after that I headed straight to Downtown East Chalet to join my family. Perangai gila kan baru baik sikit lepastu makan bukan-bukan. Indian food lah, barbecue lah. Memang padan muka lah sakit haha. 

I didn't eat much actually at the chalet cause my stomach already felt weird. So after solat isyak, I didn't join the rest at the BBQ pit. Stayed in the room instead. That's when I started to vomit again and again to the point that I have nothing more to vomit. My throat hurts so much I felt like ripping it off. That went on for almost an hour or so. I was do drained I can hardly stand. 

Since my condition lembik like that already my uncle asked me to cab down to the hospital straight. So ibu and abang accompanied me to Changi General Hospital. Since I could barely stand I was given a wheelchair (and all the time I was still vomiting, this time dalam plastic bag heh) 

First thing doctor say when he saw me was, we have to drip you. And I was like drip tu binatang apa hahaha. Drip is THIS.

Sesungguhnya the first time I saw the doctor holding the tube I cringe already. Couldnt even look at my hand after this thing got stuck there haha. Rasa lemah seluruh jiwa dan raga okay. So yes, I was dripped for about an hour. Doctor said he'll look at my condition after kena drip, see whether ada improvement or not.

After an hour plus, doctor said I needed to be warded for further investigation cause they're not sure what's wrong with me. So I was warded that night at Changi General Hospital. It was almost two in the morning when I got my bed. Ibu and abang couldn't stay so I was left all alone there in the ward that night. It was really difficult for me to move around cause the drip is stuck with me. So kalau nak pergi toilet kena drag benda alah ni ikut sama.

Nampak tak tiang dengan wayar and benda packet warna putih tuh? Yes that thing. I have to bring it wherever I go. So macam annoying ah, ok? Heh. Oh yes, these two girls are my bestfriends who came to visit lol model tak penting :P

Anyway, back to the story. So that night I was left all alone in CGH. The painkiller didn't last long. I started vomiting again the next morning. The entire day was blurry to me cause I remember vomiting endlessly. They gave me some painkillers and sleeping pills, I fell asleep, then when I wake up I vomit again, and then they injected me, took some X-Ray tests and stuff. And then I fell asleep, and then when I wake up I vomit again. Endlessly. The cycle repeats. I was in such a pain that I didn't even notice people coming to visit. My sedara mara and friends came but I really couldn't layan. It's either I sleep or I vomit. I chose sleep. Haha.

So my second/third day in CGH, the doctors said I needed to undergo an operation. They suspected I'm having appendicitis. At that point of time, the only thought that came to me was, lantak lah just do what you need to do. I wasn't scared, really. I was just so tired and in pain I wanted this to end. 

So that evening I was supposed to go to the operation theatre but before they proceed they did another X-Ray to confirm my condition. And then they found out something. There's nothing wrong with my appendix. But there's something growing inside me. Ada ketumbuhan in my body.

I. Was. Beyond. Shocked.

I didn't know what to think. I didn't know how to react. I was in disbelief. Like how is this even possible. I'm a healthy girl. Nothing was wrong with me. I only had a minor stomach flu and that's all. How can it lead to some kind of growth within me? Macam susah nak percaya pulak. My mum was already crying and all. Everyone was so emo already. Haha.

But I was cannot be that serious whatttt. Really. Masa tu rasa macam susah nak accept sebab terlalu mengejut. And I didn't want to worsen the condition. Like if I emo ibu emo everyone emo then how right. I cannot show them I'm scared what. So I choose to smile instead :)

So I was transfered to KK Women & Children's Hospital. Naik ambulance ok. Best or what. Hahahha. Ok tipu. I was in pain, the ride was bumpy, making my condition worse. I dunno how many times I had to bite my lips so I didn't scream cause ibu was sitting right across me. I didn't want her to worry.

Sampai KKH, kena inject lagi. Seriously taktau dah berapa banyak kali kena inject to the extent that I dont care anymore. Macam dah lali. As though I'm immune to the pain already and nothing could be worse. Sampaikan nurse pun tercarik-carik vein mana nak cucuk sebab semua dah kena inject before and dah naik bengkak pun. Haha.

My days in KKH was not so bad. See how lepak I was. Siap tengok TV, dengan laptop lagi. Hahaha. But the pills were like...belambak lah. But the medication worked. I didn't really vomit a lot. I still do, but not so much. I still feel the pain, but I feel slightly better. So I had to undergo several more tests over several days (because test results tak keluar on the spot) to confirm like confirm plus chop what I'm suffering from.

Indeed there was a growth inside me and it was growing really fast. I cant remember exactly the details but it was something like, the thing is 2.7mm when I was in CGH, and when they did a scan once more in KKH, the thing was already 3.8mm. Beyond speechless already when the doctor told me that. So I had to undergo an operation asap to remove that thing before it bursts. The doctor said the thing might be cancerous and if it bursts...I dowan to imagine ah. Haha.

So yes. I think on the 6th day at KKH baru operation. It was so drama okay. The nurses came in, asked my family and friends to leave the room. I had to change to my clothes for the operation. And then they transferred me to another bed. So when they pushed me out of my room, my family and friends were all outside gathering. Semua dah, "Please be strong" "Dont be scared" "Everythings gonna be ok" "Selawat banyak-banyak" and all that. Haha. Ibu was crying like waterfall already.

I laughed ok. Haha. I really laughed seeing them like that. I was like, I'm not going anywhere lah. Operation je lah. I'm coming back lah. Why yall so emo one :D

But the moment the nurse pushed me towards the operation theatre....I know I cant lie anymore. I was damn scared alright. I just didn't want to show it. I didn't want my mum to worry. I didn't want anyone to worry. I'm a strong girl and I'm a fighter. I will survive this.

I was all alone lying on the bed outside the operation theatre while they prepared the tools. I started thinking all the what ifs. What if I didn't survive this operation. What if something goes wrong. What if that thing burst.

What if
What if I die
Am I prepared?

That set me thinking. Of what I have been doing all these while. Of what I have prepared for the aakhirah. And I realised something.

I wasn't.
I wasn't ready to die.
I didnt do enough. I didnt prepare enough. And I regretted. I started praying. Reading everything I could think of to calm myself down. Starting to istighfar as though it's the last time I'm gonna do that. I was really scared. It's as though I'm on my death bed already you see :/

That's when the doctor came and started talking to me. He said he's going to put me to sleep. He injected something on my wrist. Like some sort of liquid and I could feel it burning on my throat. I panicked. I started to meronta cause I really thought I was going to suffocate to death. I couldn't breath. And the next thing I know, I was gone.

The moment I opened my eyes, my stomach felt so bloody painful the only thing I could manage was cry. I couldn't even speak. I thought the operation was still going on. But then the nurse said it's all over. And I was like, whuat??? Seriously?? Just a minute ago I was struggling, the next thing I know, three hour has actually passed. Wah. So fast!

Then I saw ibu, they let her in to see me after the operation. The only word I said was, "sakit." And this time ibu laughed. Cause before the operation I step mana punya berani like tak heran like that, lepastu keluar operation theatre je lembik macam sayur bayam, tak bermaya langsung hahaha.

But really ah. No kidding ok? It was so painful. I couldn't even move. They had to transfer me to my old bed kat dalam ward kan, during the transferring process ah I cry like rabak leh. Previously when I muntah-muntah and all that, I didn't cry ok? No matter how painful it was I fought back my tears. But this time round it's too much to take already. I cannot lie anymore heh.

Anyway, the operation was a success, they managed to remove it (got picture of the growth thingy some more ok, but i forgot where I put it, if not can upload here haha). I got my appetite back and I started eating like I never eat before hahaha. Actually eh, hospital food not bad sey. I dont understand why people say not nice. Hahaha.

 So yes, this is my bilik bersejarah for more than one week. That's my mum and sister by the way hahaha.

And that's me on my last day in the hospital. I look so sihat right nobody would actually believe I went through all these pain if not for the photos I have. Hahaha.

Blessed to have supportive family and loving friends for being there when I was ill. The two weeks was really such an emotional, mental and physical torture for me. And the month following that. Haha. I can hardly walk. But I survived. :D

This incident really was an eye opener for me. I learnt a lot from this. Ada hikmah kenapa Tuhan turunkan dugaan macam ni on me. If pain is what it takes to bring me closer to Him, then so be it. I'm glad He did this to me for He knows best :)


  1. Your story make me feel your pain. I can't sit. haha. XD

  2. Alhamdulillah dah baik. :) After this mmg kena jaga kesihatan elok2 la. Cherish the health always :) Oh btw, Nir should have warned it was looong. Haha :D

    1. Hahaha alamak sorry, its really long :PP

  3. You've been so strong going through the pain. Salute seh!

    1. You would be too, if you're in my position (I hope not though!) It's not like you have any other choice :)