Saturday, June 28, 2014

Day 16: Something you always think 'what if' about

This is easy. There's something I have always always always think 'what if' about and never once did it leave my mind. I don't think I'll ever get over it. Hahaha

Lemme tell you the story.

So when I was in secondary four in Al-Maarif, I had to make a decision. Whether I wanna pursue my ukhrawi or my academics. My dad wants me to go Cairo, Egypt. No, he didn't actually force me la. He dropped some hints that he wanted one of his daughters to study in Al-Azhar. And among the three of us, I'm the only hope cause my younger sisters are more inclined towards academics. But I was pretty rebellious that time. So I decided to go for A'Levels instead when I actually qualify to go Pre-University Al-Azhar. Daebak kan, Niro? 

I regret that.

If I could turn back time, I would choose Al-Azhar. I really would. And up until now, that regret lies deep within me. Whenever AZ tweets about her faculty and stuff, whenever I see people posting about studying in Azhar, whenever I actually send people off at the airport to further their studies in Azhar, I feel my heart kena slice mannnnnnnnnnnn.

But honestly honestly though, regretting my decision means I regret going to Innova. Which I think, I don't. It's unfair to say that because Innova taught me a lot about life struggles. Maybe that's why I get a little bit defensive when people talk bad things about madrasah-graduates-turned-secular. You have no idea what we go through so please, berkatalah yang baik atau diam. If you have nothing nice to say, diam pun cantik ok? Khalas.

Di Innova, saya belajar untuk menjadi manusia yang lebih independent, outspoken, critical, sociable dan bising. Ibu pernah tegur, I wouldn't be the Nir I am now if not for Innova. So I guess I may not be where I wish to be, but I'm exactly where I'm supposed to. For He knows best while I don't, kan? :)


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