Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Be your own hero



It has been a pretty rough week. Gonna just type whatever that comes to my mind.

1. It's the break up season again, I think. Two of my best girlies got their hearts trampled all over. The boys said forever. But forever ended too soon, I guess. 

And being the person these girls run to, gahhhhhhhh. I don't know man. When it comes to relationships I'm still a noob. I suck at this. How does this thing even work. 

And why do boys do stupid things, seriously just why

2. Lost someone dear to me over the weekend. I haven't seen him for a while but his demise came as a shock to me. I haven't been crying for a bit but my heart breaks seeing his youngest son wiping away his tears using his baju kurung sleeves. I feel so helpless. Was so tempted to pick up that kid and comfort him.

That day reminds me so much of what happened four years ago. Of losing ayah. Of not knowing what to do. Of feeling so numb. Of laughing everything off cause I couldn't cry, I couldn't afford to be weak when everyone else around me is broken. 

3. My Alsagoff girls just took their A'level lisan. It's scary you know. Knowing you're shouldering the responsibility. That the girls depend on me to ensure they get their distinctions. The grades they get won't only reflect the amount of effort they put in but also my capability as a teacher. The big A's is coming and well tough luck we gotta start the drilling.

4. It's my fourth week of practicum already. I won't say it's easy but I won't say it's crazy difficult either. I'm up at 0107am right now cause I just finished doing my lesson plan. Pancit is an understatement, I crash and burn every night. I don't know how long more I can keep up with this kind of schedule. 

Keep your work-life balance, they say
But juggling three jobs and at the same time still making time for everyone can be pretty much draining.

5. For every one rude student I'll think of ten courteous ones. For every one time you piss me off, I'll think of the ten times you made me smile. For everytime the going gets tough, I'll think about all the happy things to keep me sane.

xoxo,
N

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